Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
