I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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