i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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