He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
