Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
NoShamevember. You game?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
