She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You don't make any sense
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