Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
