i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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