i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
