Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
