I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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