Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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