It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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