Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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