no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Randomize
