my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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