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SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
