Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
