I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I am naked and annoyed.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
