you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
