Define "chronic" masturbator.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
