we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
