you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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