i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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