i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
