Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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