"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
