I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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