youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
