Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Fuck appropriateness.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
