She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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