Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
