she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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