peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
