So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Randomize
