actually, I'm a sock model
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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