Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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