whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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