Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
