Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
