I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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