The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
