I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
