I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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