My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
