Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
