I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
