UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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