my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
