why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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