i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
In America we eat man semen.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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