Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
