i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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