It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
