Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
