They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
