Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
