just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Dick very happy bro
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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