i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize