would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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